I see you

"I see you." A greeting I heard from the movie Avatar. What a way to acknowledge the presence of a person! It's taking time to know and discover that in front of you is a human being with his own worries, struggles, and successes.

I have been attempting, to some degree, to have this kind of mind set when I meet an old friend. Of course, I will not say, I see you. This would be weird. But I simply ask how they are doing. Almost always they would narrate about where they work, their business, their kids, where they have been, where they are living right now, some gossips about our common friends, etc. And when the bubbling goes on for quite sometime, I gently interrupt and state it clearly again, "No, I want to find out about you. How are YOU doing? And when they realize that my sincerity in asking how they really are doing, the mood sort of changes, and the conversation shifts gear into a deeper, more meaningful one.

I was at a mall early today. I chanced upon an old friend and we chatted for about maybe five to ten minutes. After the initial pleasantries, I asked him again how he really was doing, I think he sensed that I was genuinely interested because, wow, in so short a time he talked about his struggles: client troubles; relationship problems with in laws and later, his wife; financial burdens with his failing business, etc.

I really had no more time to hear his woes because I was now late for an appointment, so I asked, "In all your problems was there anybody who wass always present at the scene of the crime? I suggested maybe that person needed to change first. This got him thinking. And I had to leave.

Later, I got a text message from him. His answer, "My wife." Hahaha.. But I know he got my point, loud and clear.